sometimes i think 
that i know she is out there
now i realize she is here with me 
as she always has been
i wonder how i can stay alone for 
so long, but then i realize that 
i am not alone

I never have been 
she has always been with me 
maybe one day i will find her and 
we will spend the rest of our lives
together

as fulfilling as it would be to 
look into her eyes while telling her 
that I love her
i have nevertheless told her a thousand 
times in my mind
i have never removed myself from the 
wonderful idea that someday she will materialize

in either case she will always be with me
i will not be alone as i never have been 
irregardless of what i believed 
i have realized that i was wrong 

thoughts of her always comfort me
when all else seems distant 
if everything is in disarray
should it seem like a worse situation does not exist
her being brings peace to my soul
and allows me to continue
where nothing else can steady my heart 

maybe some day
as much as naught
i still hope that day arrives 
that it will grace me with its wonder and delight
this is nothing new is it though

be it in the cards that this day never 
arrives 
there are still all the times from now to then 
or to forever 
that she does so much for me 

for nothing than to thank her 
for her support and caring and 
for her understanding 
for being there for me 
for all of this i want to thank her

not many permeate my life 
but she fills what seemed to be holes in its very fabric

for that i love her...